God Hugs - July 2008

You know that poem, "Footprints in the Sand?" The guy asks God why God's footprints disappeared during the most difficult times of the man's life. God replied, "My son, don't you know that during those times, I was carrying you?"

One night, I decided to add music to my iPod and ventured to the basement. I seldom went down there because the ridiculous stero system reminded me of Jay. Those Klipsch speakers reminded me of the time we bought the Eagles: Hell Freezes Over CD. I listened to Hotel California so loudly, I actually blew one of the speakers we'd had less than a month. I thought he'd be furious, but he just shook his head. The man NEVER got mad, but I digress.

Oh, there's Madame Buterfly: that was our very first CD. And there's Steely Dan: ahhh...college. Andreas Segovia: reminds me of the Valentine concert in Bartlesville...The list goes on and on. Every CD was associated with a particular event or time in our lives together and it sent me over the top. All of a sudden, I was doubled over in a fetal position bawling uncontrollably.

GOD: WHERE ARE YOU???? PLEASE TAKE THIS PAIN FROM ME! PLEASE PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME! I CAN'T STAND NOT BEING HUGGED! PLEASE LOVE ME! SHOW ME THAT YOU'RE GOD! I DARE YOU!

Several minutes later I just stopped crying. Just like that. I hate it when that happenes. For whatever reason, I turned on the TV and there was Larry King talking to some blond guy and his family. That guy looks a lot like Steven Curtis Chapman.

I remembered my sister-in-law, Barbara, who teaches at the Christian school in Nashville where the Chapmans' children attend, telling me about the devastating loss of one of his daughters. The Chapman's were on Larry King talking about the Peace that Surpasses All Understanding that carried them through one of the darkest times of the family's life. They talked about hope and about grace and about the sadness they felt. I was captivated by their testimony and suddenly realized I felt God's loving arms around me by watching their witness. I felt my sadness lifting from me immediately! Woah - that was pretty amazing!

Thanks for the hug! You really do come through! You really are who you say you are! You really DO love me! I love you too!